Hillhouse Investigations, Inc.
Poltergeist Page
Imagine a good night's sleep: full moon sliding in through your silk curtains, your spouse snoring softly beside you, the temperature just right, bundled up in the comforter your Aunt Verna gave you for the wedding; no sound but for the quiet padding of your kitten in the hallway... Now imagine the same night in a house with a Poltergeist:the glass of the mirror over the bureau shatters inexplicably, books fly across the room, flipping open to all the worst sentences, an indefinable screaming fills the air and the walls bleed as they split apart, strange, fleshy sores suddenly appearing on the wallpaper, the cat in the hall shrieking as its fur is ripped from its tiny body... A Poltergeist recommends no comfort to those is persecutes; it is a soul in pain, lashing out with all of its unnamable fury.
If you are haunted by a Poltergeist (German for "mother-in-law), you are probably well aware of it. You probably find yourself waking in the bathtub, dressed in a giant baby diaper, or perhaps you occasionally carve a Thanksgiving turkey only to find its hollow center filled with monkey brains instead of stuffing. You know the hell of it, and we at Hillhouse Investigations can sympathize with your plight and we guarantee that we can ease your distress. Our Certified Psychic Technicians (CPT's) are qualified to banish the dead from your house, apartment or Winnebago and damn them to whatever dark hole they have fashioned for themselves. We utilize a unique combination of ancient Greek ritual and Aromatherapy, and can safely and sanitarily rid your home of the effects of the dead without all that messy, pinkish ectoplasmic residue that conventional methods of banishment tend to leave all over your furniture!
And, moreover, we offer a one-time only free Situation Assessment to any sufferers of Poltergeist activity, in which we will enter your home, divine the nature of the force presiding there and reveal to you the exact cause of its continuance. We can inform you whether it is a lost loved one, a result of Black Magick or Satanic ritual, or just sheer moxy. All at no charge! Knowing this information, you could, with the proper equipment, rid the house of the infestation yourself, but we are so secure in our methods that we are sure you will opt for our doing the job in your place!
And don't forget... we always dress stylishly and leave your home smelling great!
So Call Hillhouse Today!